Love is soft. Love’s a fucking bitch.
Tell me about, Karen O.
I love love. Absolutely love it. Everyone does, that’s why everyone’s looking for something like it on Tinder, in bars, across the classroom, in line at Starbucks. Now, I’m not big on publicly talking about my love life – hell, I barely disclose details to even my closest friends – and writing through it on a beauty/lifestyle blog just seems misplaced. However, my love life recently went through a huge shake up. I’m reticent to refer to it as a breakup, because that’s not what it was. It was more like an unwanted lifestyle change, and the consequences are akin to withdrawal symptoms from a drug; more specifically, a drug I don’t want to stop doing.
To cope, I’ve been making my fair share of breakup playlists and bawling along to the music. I’ve had to switch it up a few times, as I was easily starting to picture my life turning into a sad manifestation of Tove Lo’s “Habits (Stay High)” lyrics after one too many listens. While I fully understand the want to drink myself into oblivion, I have zero desire to binge on Twinkies and throw up in my bathtub. I’ve thrown up in a bathtub before, and that’s a bitch to clean (so I hear… I made a boy clean it. He was superstoked to do it, obvs).
Thankfully, my would-be bff Karen O (because yes, we would be bffs if we ever met, duh), has timed her solo album perfectly. Crush Songs, set for release tomorrow (9/09/14), is already on track to become exactly what Miss O hoped it would: the soundtrack to my ever continuing love crusade.
The full album has actually been available to stream for a few days now, but I still can’t get enough of the first single, Rapt. Described by O on her Youtube page as “a track about someone who became a habit that was hard to kick.”, it sums up my situation perfectly. O delivers the wanting lyrics without malice and just a tinge of sadness, while the entire melody is just raw enough to fit my mood without making me want to slit my wrists.
“Love is soft. Love’s a fucking bitch. Do I really need another habit like you? I really need… Do you need me too? I believe it’s gonna leave me blue.”
The video is simple but I dig it – I mean, really, who doesn’t want to float around in a pool wearing a red sequined robe and bright red lipstick? It’s a gorgeous song and I can’t wait for the entire album to get me through this. I know my feelings for it will outlast any breakup or love crusade. Karen O has already had my heart for years.
Image via KarenOMusic.com
Okay, okay, so I know you’re probably thinking, “Am I being punk’d? What is this basic bitch WordPress template I’m looking at?! Where did Bren’s site go? It was just here a
minute month ago.”
In early August, tragedy struck: my blog killed itself. My server was down for a couple of days, and during this time, the database accidentally purged itself. I tried restoring it a couple of times to no avail – it was nowhere to be found, and the only backup I have is like a year old and on my laptop… you know, the one on the floor in the corner of my bedroom that hasn’t turned on in over a month.
Never let it be said that I do things half-assed, ’cause if I’m gonna fuck shit up, I am going to Fuck. Shit. Up.
When I realized that all was lost, I prepared myself for a Level 10 Freakout. I canceled all plans, applied waterproof mascara, and made myself a stiff drink.
The flip-out never came. In fact, I was taken over by an eerie calm. I thought it was the calm before the storm until I had this thought: “I’m sure there’s a way to recover this, but I’m not that tech savvy and quite frankly, I just don’t care.”
That thought didn’t freak me out, but it did set off alarm bells in my head. I started freaking out that I wasn’t freaking out. My blog is/was/has been one of my top accomplishments. How in the hell could I not care that I had just lost it all? To put it in perspective: I’ve been (beauty) blogging since 2008. I started by guest-posting and writing for other sites before launching my own site, So Much Pretty, in 2009 (I changed the name to OMG, Bren! in 2012 because of the oft-heard reaction to my posts: “Oh my god, Bren! I can’t believe you just said that…”). This blog has served as my online identity, my portfolio, my diary, my baby, and my safe place.
HOW COULD I NOT CARE?!!? How could I just be all like, “KANYE SHRUG!!!!” and walk away? Because that is what I was ready to do. I hadn’t updated it in six months, all of my assets were gone, and I wasn’t really sad. So why not just call it a day and focus on my freelance career? The beauty blogging landscape has changed so much since I’ve started anyway that even the idea of re-entering it just exhausts me.
Following this tragedy, a series of fortunate events happened that convinced me to keep OMG, Bren! alive and looking as good as I do:
1: I remembered that I’m halfway in the middle of a new site design that’s already paid for. Hell hath no fury like something that fucks with my money. Ditching this would be a total waste of money. That’s money that could have been well-spent on buying other pretty things, like the Limited Edition Makeup For Ever 30-30 Artist Palette that I would definitely probably maybe murder for.
2: Someone offered to buy my URL, and not for a bullshit amount of money. I got a little terrified at the idea of someone taking “OMGBREN” away from me (as this is my name on ALL social media channels). What would they do with it? My FIRST NAME IS IN IT. No way. It’s mine, and you can’t have it. So I might as well use it.
3: I met a distant friend’s mom for the first time, and the first thing she said to me was “I love your blog!” She went on to detail some of her more favorite posts, and that she was a huge fan of the way I write. Babes, I live for this shit. Between the current landscape of tween beauty gurus reigning supreme and working in the editorial world where my writing is constantly edited and toned down for “mass appeal,” having a 55 y/o woman praise my expletive-laden writing makes me glow.
Besides, let’s face it: I’m vain as hell. I love talking about myself and how pretty I am. I just do. And quite frankly, there is no other outlet in the world besides my own blog that would let me brag about how good my hair is on a daily basis. Having my own little place on the web to talk about beauty any way I want feeds my soul.
Losing years of data sucked, but it’s no one’s fault but my own and it was obviously my site’s way of crying for help. I hadn’t updated it in over 6 months, and this call for attention played out like a suicide note: “By the time you read this, I will be gone, having
jumped plummeted off the Winter River Bridge.”
With all that said, OMG, Bren! will be back sometime mid-September. In the meantime, you can follow me on Twitter or creep me on Instagram. However, if I were you, I would DEFINITELY sign up for the newsletter. Good things happen there that don’t happen here. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? HINT HINT makeup WINK WINK giveaways NUDGE NUDGE.