Okay, okay, so I know you’re probably thinking, “Am I being punk’d? What is this basic bitch WordPress template I’m looking at?! Where did Bren’s site go? It was just here a
minute month ago.”
In early August, tragedy struck: my blog killed itself. My server was down for a couple of days, and during this time, the database accidentally purged itself. I tried restoring it a couple of times to no avail. It was nowhere to be found, and the only backup I have is like a year old and on my laptop… you know, the one on the floor in the corner of my bedroom that hasn’t turned on in over a month.
Never let it be said that I do things half-assed, ’cause if I’m gonna fuck shit up, I am going to Fuck. Shit. Up.
When I realized that all was lost, I thought I was going to be tripping balls. I prepped myself by canceling all plans, applying waterproof mascara, and making myself a michelada or five.
The freakout never came. TBH, the fact that I didn’t freak out kind of really freaked me out. To put it in perspective: I’ve been (beauty) blogging since 2008, having started off guest-posting on other sites then starting my own site (a much less cooler version of this one) in 2009. That’s a LONG time, and losing 5+ years of content is a very good reason to flip out. But I was surprisingly calm about it; I was like, “KANYE SHRUG!!!!,” ready to call it quits and focus on my freelance career.
Then I remembered: I’m halfway in the middle of a new site design that’s already paid for, so ditching this would totally be a waste of money. That’s money that could have been well-spent on buying other pretty things, like the Limited Edition Makeup For Ever 30-30 Artist Palette that I would definitely maybe probably murder for.
So I took it as a sign. I could quit, but let’s face it: where else are you going to get frank, in your face, humorous beauty advice about being awesome and looking good while doing it? I read and occasionally write for a number of huge beauty sites and I’ll tell you: none of them will tell it to you like I will. You think they’re gonna let you know that your lip gloss looks too much like jizz or how to use your perfume atomizer as a flask in a music-festival emergency? Doubtful.
Losing years of data sucked, but it’s no one’s fault but my own and it was obviously my site’s way of crying for help. I hadn’t updated it in over 6 months, and this call for attention played out like a suicide note: “By the time you read this, I will be gone, having
jumped plummeted off the Winter River Bridge.”
Like, sorry. I was busy uh… Well. I have no excuse for that. I haven’t been doing shit for the last 6 months, except fucking with my hair and drinking whiskey, knee-deep in my post-adolescent idealistic phase.
With all that said, rest assured that OMG, Bren! will be back oh-so-soon, but with a few key changes to make it better than ever. Since I’m basically having to start over from scratch, I’m taking it as an opportunity to initiate some much needed changes. One major thing you should know: I’ll be moving more of the typical beauty content over to Beauty Piñata, a new project I’m not ready to talk about, and focusing more on experiential beauty here. Don’t worry – that doesn’t mean a cut in beauty coverage, it just means a shift in the type I focus on here because let’s be real: I don’t need to tell you about Urban Decay’s awesome new collection when 500 other sites are already covering it. But do I need to tell you about that time I accidentally used Bikini Zone to “whiten my teeth” and couldn’t feel my tongue for hours afterward?? Abso-fucking-lutely. Why should you make beauty mistakes when I can make them for you? I’ll also be expanding content to include music, nightlife, LA-area beauty service reviews, aaaand maybe some fitness if I’m feeling fat that day.
My new site should be ready any day now. In the meantime, you should follow me on Twitter, creep me on Instagram, and sign up for my newsletter (below). I’m really into newsletters right now, guys, because who has time to visit 983493 sites every day?
Oh. I do. That’s right.